deeptrouble

Our Unexpected Year with Baozi: Slow Leaks, Parenting Tests, & Deep Love

deep — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:19:28 +0000

A year ago last Monday, Kimberly and I adopted young Baozi (包子), our German Shepherd mix¹ puppy. “Baozi,” pronounced “Bow-dzuh,” means “little stuffed bun” in Mandarin. As you can see below, she certainly was a little dim sum when got her at about 3 months old. Now, at 1 year & 3 months, “giant stuffed bun” would be more appropriate. We could have expected that change, but there were a lot of things we didn’t expect…

3 months old
for this & more pics, see my “Year of Baozi” album
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I had expected a month or so of pure chaos and plenty of joy, but that isn’t what happened.

For starters, the total chaos never happened. I thought the first few weeks would be a whole lot of cuteness – but also like a puppy bomb exploded in our house: there would be poop and destruction left, right, and center. It never happened. Sure, there was a total rearrangement of our schedule, but it felt surprisingly manageable. And she really didn’t destroy much.²

Having a puppy was simply awesome as far as I was concerned! SO. MUCH. CUTE. I was sooo happy! SO. FASCINATING. Then, a month or so in, I found Kimberly angry and upset with “everything” & I couldn’t understand why. She explained all that was wrong & I tried to convince her otherwise, but in doing so I realized she was right, actually. My life had become a mess, without me noticing.

There was no puppy-bomb, only a slow leak. We had run aground amidst everything we put off dealing with to establish our life-with-pup. In all the cuteness & adventure, I kind of lost track of everything else & we were behind on all of it.

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In the months after we recovered & as we began training Baozi more, I learned a lot more about myself and Kimberly as potential parents. It wasn’t all good.

I’m naturally more inclined to try to see situations from the dog’s point of view & as sympathetically to the timid young dog as possible. This makes me gentle with her and I try to soften what blows the world throws at her.

Kimberly is more naturally inclined to see situations as opportunities for Baozi to learn how to behave properly. This makes her constant, firm, and focused on the right outcome.

We’ve discovered all this in watching each other work with the dog. At worst, I coddle the dog too much. At worst, Kimberly is too stern. Neither extreme is a good way to raise a little being. We’ve had more than a few fights in dealing with each other’s style & still find it contentious at times. I think it has caused Kimberly to re-evaluate me as potential father, actually. I never expected that.

We got into this puppy thing primarily because we both love animals, and for me, because I have always always always wanted a dog. But a real secondary consideration was that we figured it would be good training wheels for having children. We never expected that it would actually be even more instructive of the challenges we would find in dealing with each other as parents. Luckily, the margin of error in raising a puppy is greater than a child, at least in that the bar for “good dog” is so much lower than the bar for “good human.” We’re learning a lot about how to be parents with each other & hopefully how to help each other grow through their shortcomings. This was supposed to just be practice at being awesome parents. Totally unexpected.

Kimberly Plays with Baozi
Kimberly Persecuting Baozi (for this & more pics, see my “Year of Baozi” album)
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It is of course, cliché to gush about how much one loves their dog, and while in the most obvious way, my intense love for Baozi is completely expected (*always*wanted*a*dog*). On a deeper level, it really has tapped into something I didn’t expect was in me.

The thing is, Baozi is kind of useless. She doesn’t produce anything useful other than affection. And even in that, she’s not the most cuddly & affectionate dog I know (that’s you little Porco!).

Don’t get me wrong, her boundless enthusiasm when I come home every day is already one of the best parts of my life, but she also balances that with a fairly constant refusal to come cuddle with us when we are watching TV – she prefers to sit nearby. And on a more pragmatic scale, she just needs. She needs affection. She needs to be played with often. She needs to taken for walks. She needs her poop picked up. She needs to be fed. She needs to be brushed. She needs, she needs, she needs.

At 44, I’ve come to realize that one of my greatest challenges is that I’m not very good at unconditional love. I have an assessing and critical mind & my approach to everyone, especially myself, is rooted in that nature³. Even in relationships, it has taken years of growth (luckily mostly done before I met Kimberly!) to get any facility with loving partners for who they are and not what they do.

So how then can I bring myself to tears just thinking about this small, useless and willful little quadruped? How is it that every day when I come home, a small burst of pure joy erupts in me as she trundles down the steps to greet me, giant ears flattened against her head. I even choke up when I see an older dog now, knowing that my little Bao will age much more quickly than I… How has it come to this? Especially for someone like me?

Early into owning Baozi, I was talking to my therapist about this inexplicable turn of events. She pointed out that it is often easier to tap into our deepest affection with animals, simply because so many obscuring layers⁴ are not possible. And this is the root of it. I really am much more capable of deep love than I ever expected. My therapist suggests that it points to something more primal even: it lends credence to the idea that we really are, at some level, deeply loving beings with boundless abilities to connect with, care for, and appreciate others unconditionally. I would have never guessed that was me.

Is it unconditional for me? I still don’t know – but if it isn’t truly unconditional, it certainly doesn’t require much – just a few wags and a constant interest in whether I feel like playing tug.

Happy Anniversary Little Doglet.

.ps If the pictures & videos here aren’t enough (click on any of them to get to my whole set on Flickr), see Kimberly’s awesome set of pics here: A year of puppy

for this & more pics, see my “Year of Baozi” album

^1. We couldn’t figure out what else she might be other than German Shepherd, but someone told us she looked part Kelpie & after googling, we have to agree.↩

^2. She has gotten a tad more destructive since then, but not a lot – unless it comes to flip-flops. She is a flip-flop terrorist.↩

^3. Whether it is nature or nurture is beside the point, at 44 – it’s me.↩

^4. In my case, layers of expectation and judgement.↩

Kimberly Teases Baozi

India 2012: Trust, Chai, & The Taj

deep — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 09:22:01 +0000

It’s been a few weeks now & I’m finally psychologically “home” as in “back from travels” (In addition to our trip to the genetic LOMP (Land Of My People), we had a quick trip to the historical LOMP: North Carolina). As is the case after all my big trips, I return with lots of thoughts and reflections from my adventures… I like writing them down especially for myself, but also in hopes that some of you will find them at least entertaining.

If you want to skip all my blather & just go look at the pics, check out My Top 25 pix &/or the Next Best 60 pix, but otherwise, what follows is a series of thoughts & comments from our trip:

(Feel free to just jump around to the parts that sound interesting, or read it all the way through… )

View India 2012 in a larger map

WERE YOU REALLY LOOKING?:

I’ve now traveled to India 3 times as an adult (in addition to a handful of times as a child) & think that I’m starting to understand it a tiny bit. I’ve spent more time in India than any other foreign country by a long shot. It’s a hard but rewarding country.

I never quite get it when travelers tell me that they “loved India” or “hated India” – to me it is always so much more complicated. To both sets of people, my question is “were you really looking?”, because in the same 5 minutes I’d find something I loved juxtaposed with something I hated.

I guess maybe people mean “I loved traveling in India” or “I hated traveling in India.” I can completely understand both of those sentiments. For a Westerner, India is loud, intense, smelly, trashed, and above all else, chaotic. It is also rich, colorful, fascinating, simultaneously ancient & new, diverse, and rambunctiously alive. In the end, India is all of the above, and intensely so.

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MY 3 FAVORITE THINGS:

2 of my favorite things this trip were surprising to me:

The Taj Mahal:

It seems absurd to say that the beauty of the Taj was a surprise, but it really was. I had been there before, when I was 13 or so. I went at noon with my Mom & brother. I don’t remember what I thought of it other than that it was blazing hot & we had to remove our shoes to walk across the burning white marble. This time, I went with Kimberly & I wondered how it would stack up to my memories & to Kimberly’s high expectations (it was literally a life long dream for her). Fortunately, my cousin Mandeep, who had visited it recently, told me “If you don’t see the Taj at sunrise, you haven’t seen it.” So, it was with a lot of curiosity and anticipation I turned into the entry arch at daybreak and caught my first glimpse of the Taj Mahal in 30 years.

I came very nearly to tears.

It was far more beautiful than I recalled & resonated so much more deeply. And yes, we watched it change as the sun rose through the morning, and the light really was best in the first few hours after dawn & dramatically so. I’m now convinced that Kimberly and I need to see it at what we’re told is an even more amazing time – the full moon.
Mehrangarh Fort & Jodhpur:

The focus of our trip was Rajasthan, often cited as the most beautiful part of northern India. We spent the majority of our trip there & it lived up to the hype. But the surprising thing was that of all the places in Rajasthan, the city that no one mentioned was our favorite. To be sure, we really enjoyed the recommended cities, Udaipur & Jaisalmer, but Jodhpur was our favorite. We almost cut it, due to the vagaries of travel logistics, but decided to keep it in in the end & are very glad we did. If we hadn’t, we would have missed Mehrangarh (which means “Home of the Sun”.)

Much like Europe’s “ABC” problem (another bloody cathedral), Rajasthan is known to have an “ABF” problem – but Mehrangarh Fort rising high above the center of the city and overlooking it was simply awe-inspiring. The fort was the most amazing of the ones we saw in Rajasthan and the tour & museums inside were first rate. The views from the top were stunning and additionally, the city itself was the most fun of our stops in Rajasthan. Jodhpur = Big Win.

.ps Also note that Mehrangarh was the fort seen in “The Dark Knight Rises“

Here’s a video of a zipline ride I took at Mehrangarh;
Bombay:

The final big win of the trip was no surprise to me at all. Last time I was in India, I arrived in Bombay at the end of an up-and-down traipse through Southern India, lonely, travel-fatigued and desperate to be home. After just a few hours in Bombay I was excited, rejuvenated, and fascinated & moved things around so I could stay a few days longer. This trip, Kimberly & I hit the travel-fatigue wall just before we got to Bombay, but I knew that it would come through as the big finish, at least for me – I was hopeful it would be for Kimberly too.

It did. We both loved it.

There is just something enthralling about a world-class megacity* that energizes and stirs my curiosity. And Bombay, with its buzz, pace, and crazyness rewards the energetic & curious. On top of that, this time in Bombay, I had the benefit of dear friends (Apu! Shweta!) on the ground who made our 3 days there feel like an action packed week, and a super gracious host who let us stay in her lovely apartment (thanks Noopur! & Anjan). We went on a surprising & eye-opening slum tour with a relief organization, saw tons of amazing architecture (one of my favorite buildings in the world!), did a bike tour, and explored and ate the best food we had in India. I can’t wait to go back to Bombay!

* I have been lucky enough to visit at least 5 world class megacities: NY, Paris, London, Shanghai & Hong Kong. Does Bombay count? I kinda think so – but it is a interesting question actually. What is a megacity in my mind? LA doesn’t seem to count – it doesn’t feel urban enough. Does Beijing – well maybe. Kimberly thinks that it has something to do with being cosmopolitan & international-facing & I think that is a big part. Also, I think it has something to do with being “A city that can arguably consider itself or feel like the center of the world” – not politically necessarily but more socio-culturally. Maybe Bombay doesn’t fit that, but it is so large and so vibrant it must be close.↩

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CHAINS OF TRUST:

I think one of the hardest things about India is the breakdown of trust.

I have a cousin who lives in a development in the suburbs of New Delhi called “ATS Village.” “ATS” are the initials of the developers who built the development. At first, I thought that was a horrible way to name a development – “I wouldn’t want to live in say, MegaCorp Apartments – who would?” but then I realized why I would. In India, there are certainly laws and standards for construction on the books & officials whose job it is to enforce those laws & standards, but there is no trust in those laws because officials are often bribed & regardless there is precious little enforcement. Bribery, corruption, and an ineffective legal system are a huge problem in India* & thus if I can’t trust that the government & legal system guarantees the basic soundness of my home, I would probably begin looking for developers who have a good track record & a good reputation.

The more I thought about it, I realized that these trust issues were everywhere I looked in India.

Marble inlay work from Agra…

A similar note struck me in Agra, home of the Taj. We fell in love with the amazing marble inlay work that the area is known for & decided to buy some pieces to bring home with us. We ended up at a high end shop that our hotel-provided guide took us to. As we got closer to buying several pieces, we decided to sleep on it & come back. Our driver, upon learning our plans, became very concerned at the notion of us buying stuff at a store suggested by the guide. He was worried, quite reasonably, that we were getting swindled because the store might not be good quality, they might just be the store that paid the highest commission to the guide.

Suitably alarmed, I checked with our hotel & they assured me that the guide would only be taking us to shops they had checked out and approved of. But the driver asked: “But how can you trust the hotel?” He meant that surely they were just getting a cut too.

I realized then that this was the crux of it – how deep did it all go? Who can you trust & why?

Since I didn’t have the time to make a fully informed decision, I had to place my trust somewhere and build a chain of trust from there. I decided (somewhat arbitrarily) to trust the hotel & thus the guide (provided by the hotel) & thus the shop (suggested by the guide). In the end, this was a chain of trust, and it was the best I had.**

This made me realize the chains of trust that are such a huge part of our every day life. What a vast & rarely considered luxury! My toaster is UL rated, my house has been built to local, state & federal codes & standards, the food I eat has been vouched for by the FDA – and underneath it all is the bedrock of the American legal system. For all the glaring flaws, and righteous critiques, our system largely works and more importantly, can be & is trusted. For all our complaints about frivolous lawsuits, or ridiculous governmental red tape, we are really lucky to have it.

On a personal level though, this lack of ability to trust is corrosive to me. I spent a lot of time in India with a background hum of anger & guardedness. I’m capable of navigating a world where trust is hard to come by & most people must be viewed with skepticism, but I don’t like it & find it exhausting. More than anything else, that’s the hardest part of being in India for me. Perhaps that is my naivete speaking, perhaps I trust too easily in the US or in other developed nations – but I don’t think so. It makes sense why this happens in places like India and China – where people are struggling to survive and for any possible way to make life easier & they probably realize that we (Western tourists) will be just fine if we pay a little more than we should for things – I just wish it was explicit rather than hidden.

As an aside, one of the most fascinating 30 minutes of our trip was in Jodhpur when we met a young shop owner, Vicky (at Student Shop near the clocktower) who showed us a bunch of ways we could easily be cheated when buying textiles and how the referrals system worked. He could have easily been cheating us as well, but there was so much of his story that made sense and he so warmly and engagingly told us the ins and outs that we really really appreciated it all. He was great and really helped me feel like I understood what was going on.

* One of the best takes on corruption in India was what my friend Apu in Bombay said. He has lived in the US & a few other countries as well as India: “In the US bribery exists, but you usually have to pay someone to do something that’s wrong. In India, you often have to pay people to do what’s right – that is, to just do their jobs.”↩

** You might also ask, how could I trust the driver? The driver was arranged for us by my family in Delhi. And that also is part of why family is so important in India – often they are the biggest link in any chain of trust. It was a huge help for us to have folks in India who could set us in the right direction from the get go & in general just be super helpful. That made a lot of things so much easier! (Thanks again, Sumeet, Sandeep, Sunoo, Rinky, & Ravi Massi & Gurcharan Uncle!)↩

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CHAI HO!:

With some reticence for the safety of my GI tract, I decided to drink chai from street vendors on this trip, something I’d never done before.

DEAR LORD THE FACT THAT I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE IS THE BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE.

Every chai vendors chai was SOOOOOOOOO OMFG GOOD and sooooo different from every chai you have ever had in any restaurant* anywhere else! Restaurant chai in India tastes exactly like restaurant* chai in the US and is what it is. But street chai in India is SOOOOO much better and I can’t explain why other than to say it is brighter, spicier, richer flavored and just different. Every cup. Anywhere I got it. Every time.

*The one exception to this thought is Kasa restaurant in SF. Somehow, Anamika, the owner, has captured the magic – hers is really really very similar to Indian street chai. It is a little too sweet for my tastes (and I’m a sweet-tooth!), but I love it nonetheless. If you want a good approximation of what I’m taking about – go to Kasa.↩

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INDO CHINA:

WARNING: TINY DATA SET -> BIG CONCLUSIONS = BAD IDEA
Having been to India and China (my China blog post is here) within about a year, the comparisons between these two rapidly rising giants are unavoidable and telling. And I have to admit, my conclusions are not what I expected.

Immediately after landing in India, we had a conversation with my cousin Sumeet, who has also traveled in China for work, and his perspective was that China seemed so far ahead and so much more organized and that it impressed upon him what could be done with an effective and less corrupt government & more focused efforts. I quickly responded with my sense that people in China were so much grimmer and it seemed like a much lass happy place & that surely that was worth more! That was my sense after I left China last year, and certainly as a believer in democracy, I want to believe that democratic India is somehow better off than totalitarian China.

But now I have to say I’m not so sure: the truth is much grayer than I expected. While I definitely saw more people in India who seemed to be outwardly happy and it is a much less grim country, I have to say that it also felt so much more chaotic and so much more lost. By “lost” I mean to it feels like it will take India a long time to shake off so many of it’s struggles like corruption, overpopulation, poverty and environmental degradation. For all it’s problems, China felt like it was on the move & making strides. Certainly, I don’t like a lot of what China does & find it morally abhorrent on a political level – but it is also clear that they have a plan for moving their people forward and are making it happen regardless of what anyone thinks.

To be sure, I’m making vast generalizations with very very limited data. I was travelling through different types of Indian cities than the ones I saw in China & we probably saw only tiny snapshots of each – maybe my impressions of India and China would be vastly different if I was in the South of each for example? Maybe Bangalore & Hyderbad stack up better & Hunan & Shenzen etc look worse? But all that being said, the fact remains that India just seems more backwards than China.

For a Western traveller, though, India is a much more hospitable than China. Practically speaking, the fact that there is so much more English spoken alone accounts for a lot, but also there is much better tourist infrastructure and a much greater sense of what travelers require.

But it’s not just practically, it’s also just true on an emotional level: India is just more rewarding a place to travel (in my super limited experience.) Once we got out of Beijing and Shanghai (& Xian), the emotional rewards of travelling in China were few and far between. It was largely increasingly grim in Dunhuang, Urumqi & Kashgar. But in India, the payoffs weren’t only in Delhi and Bombay. Rajasthan was far more chaotic than northwestern China & in some ways more depressing – but the payoffs (for me at least) were more frequent. Around any given corner was something bright, colorful, or crazy that made me glad to be there.

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TECHNOTRAVELS:

I’ve posted before about traveling with technology & the upsides, but this was by far the most plugged-in developing nation trip I’ve ever done & it paid of in so many ways and made the trip soooo much more fun.

Interwebs

Last year, when we went to China, we didn’t use our iPhones much for fear of racking up roaming charges & bought cheap dumbphones for the trip. We used WiFi at Starbucks’ fairly frequently though. This trip however, we got our iPhones unlocked & got prepaid talk & data plans in India. This was SOOO much better, because we used the live connections to the Internet a lot in a lot of awesomely trip enhancing ways:

Google Maps when we (or our drivers!) got lost
Facebook was such a huge win for advice & general FB fun – often IN the moment.
Wikipedia access to access info about things we were seeing AS we were seeing them
Google translate help when I was struggling to speak Hindi!
Find My Friends to keep tabs on each other when we split up & to help us rendezvous!

iPhones and iPad

It never ceases to amaze me how useful iPads/iPhones are for travel. The two devices, along with and an external keyboard I brought, replaced: my point & shoot camera, my maps, my guidebooks, a currency converter, a compass, a laptop, an iPod, and a DVD player (for inflight entertainment).

And in addition to replacing things I would have brought, they also enable new things you can do that make travel better. For example, for this trip, I brought a great little iPad/iPhone Bluetooth speaker (Jabra Solemate) & suddenly we have a boombox with us. I love to have my music with me in hotel rooms – it’s critical to getting me going in the morning. I would have never considered bringing a boombox on a trip like this, but it is suddenly easy!

Facebook

Facebook was such a BIG FUN part of our trip. It was really a bit like getting to bring all our friends with us to India. We posted things frequently & almost immediately as they happened & got tons of great advice, and got to hear what our friends thought of things. For us, it was fun, useful, and really trip-enhancing! And now that we are back, we’ve had a lot of people tell us how much fun they had following our adventures. I <3 Facebook.

Connectivity Hassles

It was really hard to find working WiFi in India – lots of places advertised it, but it often didn’t work well. We used it most often from hotel rooms. On the road, we were using mostly cellular data from our prepaid SIM cards. That worked pretty well for the most part – but getting a SIM card in the first place was a vast pain in the ass (again.) Next time, I really am going to try to buy a SIM for the destination country beforehand… I’ve read good things about companies like Telestial.

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BIKES:

As in all my travels, I try as hard as I can to get bikes whenever possible. It is simply the best way to see a place – especially cities. On a bike, you have all the immediacy of walking with the greater range, greater speed and yes, greater safety. There are always places where you feel like “Well I could walk down there to see where that road goes, but is ist safe? Will it be worth it? It will be a long way back!” On a bike, these questions tend to get easier because you can zoom places, hop off and on whenever you like, and zip through any areas that feel sketchy or where you are getting unwanted attention.

Here’s a quick video of a LESS busy area on one of our Delhi bike tours at dawn…

We managed to bike in Delhi, Bombay, and Udaipur & all of our adventures were highlights. In Delhi, we went on two great bike tours (with DelhiByCycle): we roamed the tiny and packed streets of Old Delhi, slowly navigating the chaos of people, rickshaws, scooters, cows, goats, and cars stopping at old temples, the Yamuna river, a nonprofit school, etc etc. In Udaipur we rented cycles and went for a long roam around the lakes, navigating by Google Maps when we had problems and ended up an annual handicrafts festival. Finally, in Bombay, I took a quick bike tour (with Reality Tours) around the famous Colaba district & checked out Victoria Station, various old markets, temples, and a cow sanctuary .

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HOW DID THE MISSUS LIKE IT?:

Lots of people have asked how Kimberly liked the trip. I’d say she loved it! I think there was lot she really enjoyed about India & a lot she didn’t. Having spent so much time in China she found herself constantly comparing and contrasting the two places. In India, she loved the wildlife and the colorfulness of it all, two qualities that are sorely lacking in China. But for her, India also felt much poorer and more chaotic, and dirtier than China. She also really really loved the Taj Mahal, as I said above… She expected the trip to be harder, but her travels in China had prepared her pretty well. Plus she had her excellent husband around .

Halloween 2011 & 2012: Lord Ganesh & the Requirements of the ‘Deepian Halloween

deep — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 04:43:58 +0000

[Update: 2/8/13: Came across a cool Ganesh costume for an off-Broadway show in NYC - see footnote 2 at bottom]

[Ed. Note: I sit here on a plane to India (via London) in the first week of December. Clearly, a perfect time to discuss this past Halloween, only 2 months late... Ok - actually I never covered Halloween 2011, where this story really begins, so really, I'm a year and 2 months late :-/ Sorry! You'll understand why by the end of this post - or if you don't care, feel free to just check the pix - it's a great costume!]

Lord Ganesh 2.0 at Work, Halloween 2012 (photo by Srabasti Mukherjee)

When this blog last left our Halloween costumed hero, in 2010, the costume was Disco Ball 5.0. The disco ball series are always impossible costumes to follow. No matter what costume I do the next year, many people say “Hey – no Disco Ball this year?” with a tone of mild disappointment.¹

To make matters worse in 2011, I was working incredibly hard at a project at the office (one of the two most difficult stretches of my 10 years at Apple) & was dramatically stressed. I really had no time for a Halloween costume that would meet my standards. That being said, I could NOT miss Halloween – I LOVE Halloween!

I was caught in the all-too-common vise-grip of October: between my volunteer political efforts (October = election season) and my job (iTunes updates are often in October, due to our Christmas product cycle) and my own Halloween ambitions, it can be quite the pressure cooker.

The internal part of this pressure comes from my ambitious Halloween requirements. A fully ‘Deepian Halloween requires that:

‘Deep can skip Halloween, but will most likely be heartbroken about it.
‘Deep can only participate in Halloween if he has a costume that meets his standards. To wit: the costume…
1. must impress ‘Deep
2. must be primarily self-made
3. must have high production values (at least attempted high production values)
4. must have a “Wow” factor
5. gets bonus points for: crowd-pleasing, interactive, clever, funny
‘Deep can possibly reuse a costume, but it is frowned upon.

So given all that, what to do?

I briefly considered skipping Halloween, as I always do when in the vise-grip, but the idea was too depressing, so I rejected it.

I then considered the idea of revisiting one of my older costumes (Sno-Globe really needs a 2.0! and I have plans for a Dinosaur 3.0), but none of those plans grabbed me enough. Additionally, I doubted I had the time to do those ideas justice.

And then it hit me – a high production-value, highly entertaining & RELATIVELY EASY costume:

Lord Ganesh!

The elephant headed Hindu deity has long been a favorite of mine.
I have never seen anyone do a Ganesh before, so it would be an original for me.²
I’ve gotten really good at the “plaster+balloon = head of costume” technology, thus it would be easy!
After the head, a store-bought inflatable “blimp suit” would make an excellent body.
It would continue my pleasant, albeit naive, way of cherry-picking the parts of my ethnic heritage that I understand & that resonate.

The only downside I could see was the possibility of offending Hindus. Unfortunately, that’s a big downside.

I spent a decent bit of time considering it: in poking around online, I noticed that there were various festivals and events where Hindu gods were portrayed by people, so there was clearly no strict ban like in Islam. I also checked with various Hindu friends who all seemed to like the idea, so I was sure that at least SOME Hindus would like it. In the end, I decided that a lot would depend on how I played it & as long as I was generally respectful (which I genuinely am), it would probably be fine.³

It was GO for Lord Ganesh!

The pictures of the making of are pretty self explanatory, but suffice to say:

“Rigid-Wrap” plaster sheets are my best friends!
A large party balloon, a smaller party balloon & some cardboard made the frame.
Spray-foam on the inside for strength & durability.
Glitter, always glitter.

I was getting pretty happy with the result, but then my work deadlines exploded. It turned out that I had even less time than I expected & thus I didn’t get time to decorate the head properly or even find a blimp suit. All I could finish was a rough pass.

Luckily, in just putting the head on, I was still pretty excited about it. Even with its mediocre production values, I had reached the point where I enjoyed it – the “good enough” point. Lord Ganesh 1.0 hit the streets…

Lord Ganesh 1.0, Halloween 2011

People really liked it & more importantly, I had a blast that Halloween. Mission accomplished!

It did bother me a bit that I knew exactly how to make the costume so much better, with relatively little additional effort. I had just been caught short of time.

That brings us to this year. 2012 turned out to be one of the biggest and best years of my life, but unfortunately it has also been one of the hardest in terms of time and pressure.⁴

Luckily though, as far as Halloween was concerned, I knew exactly what I wanted to do & it would be relatively easy: FINISH GANESH!

A little more effort would yield a dramatically better costume:

I found a “blimp suit” at a seasonal Halloween costume store (I hate those places!)
I made a garland of paper flowers & wore party beads necklaces as well.
I added PVC tusks (one broken as per mythological requirements.)
I bought a small mouse finger puppet to be the mooshika, Lord Ganesh’s companion mouse.
I repaired, repainted & strengthened the trunk.
I made proper eyes & decorated his head.

The only part that was difficult was deciding how to decorate him & what sort of eyes to make. Just as I began to struggle to find something that would look good & yet remain within my limited artistic ability, a friend gave me a copy of Sanjay Patel’s excellent “Ganesha’s Sweet Tooth“. After that it was easy: Sanjay’s work had both the simplicity I hoped for and visual pop I really wanted.

I really really really love this costume & it is among my most satisfying On top of that, people really loved it to boot!

‘deep

^1. Amusingly enough, on years where I do a new version of the Disco Ball, inevitably numerous people also say “Oh – a Disco Ball again?” with mild disappointment. Apparently, I can’t escape the fact that I’m mildly disappointing. ⏎

^2. I did eventually come across this one. [Update: 2/8/13: I came across a cool Ganesh costume in the NYT - they had a picture for an off-Broadway show in NYC called "Ganesh Versus The Third Reich" - check these out these two shots… ] ⏎

^3. Indians liked it! I ran into many while wearing it & the most common reaction is asking for me to pose for pictures. And not just Indians; I was surprised and impressed at how many non-Indians got it. In fact, SF is a pretty Indophilic place, so most people not only got it, but really got into it. One of my favorites was this one guy who playfully jumped in front of me & yelled “I’m an obstacle! Remove me!” as I was roaming the streets…⏎

^4.A brief summary of 2012 so far:

January – Get Engaged
Feb – Concoct Ambitious Wedding Plans
March – Get Puppy
January/February/March/April – Finish Ambitious Home Remodel
April/May/June/July – Implement Ambitious Wedding Plans
August – Get Married
September/October – Work Like Hell To Get Caught Up on All Commitments That Have Fallen By The Wayside
September/October/November – Work Like Hell on Actual Job to Release Major Products (woot iTunes 11 / Remote 3.0)

In fact, it is only now, in December that I have truly the time & space to relax! (though I’m enroute for an ambitious month long dash through India!)⏎

(photo by Clarence Locke)

The ‘Deep Slate: November 2012 Edition

deep — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 09:04:32 +0000

[Ed. Note: After years of the 'Deep Slate being email only, I've moved it to my blog as well as email.]

You can find your polling place in SF HERE or for the rest of CA HERE.
You can print just the LIST (all the better to take to the polls) from HERE.

Thanks again to the number of folks who have asked me for my opinions. I know I say it every time but it is quite true: I really am honored by your interest.

Sorry this has taken so long, but as usual, I’m doing the best I can under the relentless pressure of October (Work deadlines! Halloween costume! election stuff!).

If you like it, please do let me know! Also questions, criticisms, comments welcome!

GO VOTE!
‘deep
—–

The format of this post is simple:

The LIST: The simple list of my endorsements for this election
The DETAILS: The whys and wherefores of each endorsement.
My VALUES: A brief explanation of my values and sources, to help make sense of my opinions.

THE LIST:

The key is as follows:

The more UPPERCASE – the more strongly I feel.
An ‘*’ by the Yes/No means I don’t know a lot about it & went with the SF Bay Guardian or California League of Conservation Voters (CLCV) or some set of organizations I value, like the Sierra Club.

US:
President: Barack Obama
US Senate: Dianne Feinstein
Congress: Nancy Pelosi

CA:
Assembly D13: Tom Ammiano
Assembly D19: Phil Ting
State Senate D11: MARK LENO
BART Board D9: TOM RADULOVICH

Prop. 30: Temporary Sales Tax & Progressive Income Tax for Schools: YES YES YES
Prop. 31: Budget and Legislative “Reforms”: No
Prop. 32: Unfair Limits to Political Spending: NO NO NO
Prop. 33: Changing Insurance Rates to Benefit Insurance Companies: No*
Prop. 34: Replace the Death Penalty with Life w/o Parole: YES YES YES
Prop. 35: Deeply Flawed Human Trafficking Legislation: NO
Prop. 36: Improve Three Strikes Law: YES YES YES
Prop. 37: Require Labeling for GMO Foods: YES
Prop. 38: Raise Income Taxes for Education: Yes
Prop. 39: Tax Treatment for Multistate Businesses: Yes*
Prop. 40: Support Redistricting Decisions: Yes*

SF:
Board of Supervisors
D1: Eric Mar
D3: David Chiu
D5: 1. John Rizzo 2. Christina Olague
D7: Norman Yee
D9: David Campos
D11: John Avalos

Community College Board
Chris Jackson
Rafael Mandelman
Steven Ngo
Amy Bacharach

Board of Education
Sandra Fewer
Jill Wynns
Rachel Norton
Matt Haney

Prop. A: City College Parcel Tax: YES
Prop. B: Parks Bond: Yes
Prop. C: Affordable Housing Trust Fund: YES YES YES
Prop. D: Consolidate Off-Year Elections: Yes
Prop. E: Gross Receipts Tax: Yes
Prop. F: Hetch Hetchy and Water Study: YES
Prop. G: Corporations Are Not People: YES

Read on for the details of why I’m recommending the above…

THE DETAILS:

US:
President: Barack Obama

I was about to write that if need to tell you this, please stop reading now, because this is a waste of time. But upon further reflection, I think I probably have various friends who are pretty disappointed with President Obama & think “Why does it matter? They all suck.” I hear you. And I’m pretty disappointed with President Obama, too*. I think he has the intellect and ability for greatness, but isn’t leading as strongly as we (or the planet) needs. But if you think there is little value in voting for him over Romney, please consider that you probably felt the same way with Bush v. Gore in 2000 & look how that worked out. A really bad President can do global damage. You know what I mean – now please go vote.

*Climate Change: I realize that much of the US population STILL isn’t ready to deal with this seriously, but that is what great leaders do: they LEAD they’re people to where they need to go.
Civil Liberties: the Obama administration has been pretty horrible on a lot of this stuff. It’s really shocking and disturbing.

US Senate: Dianne Feinstein
I have no great love of DiFi. But, she has no serious challengers and we need a Dem majority in the Senate. Suck it up.

Congress: Nancy Pelosi
I’m moderately OK with Nancy – she’s not the greatest, but I think she’s a capable leader for the Dems and has been a big part of keeping the Dem machine moving in the face of Republilunacy.

CA:
Assembly D13: Tom Ammiano
Tom has already done a great job in the State Assembly (his work on medical marijuana comes to mind) & I look forward to much more good legislation coming from his office. Go Tom Go!

Assembly D19: Phil Ting
Phil will make a good addition to our Assembly & really represent good solid progressive values in Sacramento. I’ve always been impressed with his willingness to push for fixing some of the MANY problems with Prop 13 and though that is an uphill slog, sending him to the statehouse would be a good start.

State Senate D11: MARK LENO
I’m an unabashed Mark Leno fan, his latest triumph being that he has finally succeeded in making headway on dealing with the disaster that was Governor Schwarzenneger $4-billion-shoot-CA-in-the-kneecap repeal of the vehicle license Fee. Mark has always struck me with his ability to hold to his principles while making real dialog with all sides of an issue. MARK FOR SENATE!!

BART Board D9: TOM RADULOVICH
Full disclosure: Political: I’m the treasurer of his campaign; Personal: Tom is one of my best friends and like a brother to me (sometimes a very annoying one ). That all being said, on a purely political/policy level: Tom is one of the most principled people I know, and the best policy mind I know. Even if I didn’t know him as well as I do, I’d endorse him with great excitement. His work at BART over the last 2 terms has been literally exemplary & frankly we are lucky he is running again. TOM!!!

Prop. 30: Temporary Sales Tax & Progressive Income Tax for Schools: YES YES YES

A compromise measure put up by Brown to balance our budget, basically if we don’t agree to increase taxes on top wager earners in CA and increase the sales tax (temporarily) on everyone, we are basically agreeing that we should cut state spending, mostly to schools and community colleges by $6 billion. I’m not a big fan of the sales tax increase part (because it is a regressive tax: it tends to hurt lower income folks more than it bothers high income folks), but I am a BIG fan of asking higher income folks to pay more in taxes…

Prop. 31: Budget and Legislative “Reforms”: No

A smorgasbord of changes to the horribly awful CA budgeting process, that would probably make things MORE horribly awful. This is a textbook example of why complex policy decisions should NOT be put into a ballot measure – because if they are wrong, it is REALLY hard to change them (you need another ballot measure), any of these changes that could be good, could probably be done legislatively anyway, where it is much easier to tweak them. I agree with the CA League of Conservation Voters, who say this is bad news.

Prop. 32: Unfair Limits to Political Spending: NO NO NO

This one is sneaky and really EVIL. Brought to you by (among others) the billionaire Republican Koch Bothers, this wolf-in-sheep’s clothing is an attempt to decimate the ability of labor unions to donate to political campaigns, leaving the playing field to the corporations and mega-rich. As someone who would love to see the $$$$ drained from our problematic political system, the appeal is obvious if you don’t realize this measure is about unilaterally disarming the left, and not the right. SO. EVIL. VOTE NO!

Prop. 33: Changing Insurance Rates to Benefit Insurance Companies: No*

Simple and bald-faced attempt to trick California’s voters into raising insurance rates. It adds a “continuous coverage discount” for people who keep their auto-insurance by adding a surcharge to everyone else. Who benefits? Mostly the insurance companies funding this measure. Ugh. No.

Prop. 34: Replace the Death Penalty with Life w/o Parole: YES YES YES

Repeal the Death penalty in CA & replace it with Life w/o Parole. I won’t bother to make the case why the Death Penalty is wrong & evil (it says the state is perfect, and it is largely racist) but I will simply say the Death Penalty is incredibly expensive and problematic (in addition to being morally reprehensible): since the Death Penalty was restored in California in 1978, we have spent $4 billion to kill 13 people. Mind boggling.

Prop. 35: Deeply Flawed Human Trafficking Legislation: NO

On a quick read through this sounds like a good one: “Human Trafficking is BAD – more laws to make it stop!”. But the deviltry is once again in the details. This law basically expands the definition of human trafficking in problematic ways esp. by confusing the issue of human trafficking with sex offenses. This means that both sets of laws (dealing with human trafficking and sex offenses will get confused and will lead to problematic legal tie ups: for example it could ensnare children of sex workers as beneficiaries of human trafficking & force them to register as sex offenders. This is really badly done. Senator Leno is working on legislation that would be much better – wait for that.

Prop. 36: Improve Three Strikes Law: YES YES YES

The CA Three Strikes law has been a disaster for California, swelling our prisons (destroying our budget) and destroying the lives of petty criminals by making small offenses into long-term sentences: anyone convicted of three felonies, no matter how nonviolent, automatically gets at least 25 years. This is madness. A saner version would only activate this sentencing if the third strike was a violent or serious offense. This legislation does that. Simple. YES.

Prop. 37: Require Labeling for GMO Foods: YES

It is only right that people know what is in their food and GMO foods are no different. I do have some reservations about this because I think GMO foods might become an important part of a sustainable future & some of this campaign feels like it feeds on the hysteria around these foods. I want more science & less hysteria, but regardless of that: people have the right to know what is in what they eat and decide for themselves.

Prop. 38: Raise Income Taxes for Education: Yes

This is another classic badly written piece of legislation, but unlike most, it tips the scales into “a good thing” in my book. This raises income taxes on everyone to increase funding for schools. The poor don’t really need more income tax, but at least it is a graduated scale, and we desperately need more educational funding in CA, so I’ll give it a yes. Another problem is that if both this and Prop 30 win, the one with more votes goes into effect. 30 is better, so please vote for both at the very least.

Prop. 39: Tax Treatment for Multistate Businesses: Yes*

I’ll admit to knowing almost nothing about this one. The conventional wisdom amongst organizations I like is that this closes a loophole in state law that allows multi-state corporations operating in California to shield themselves from taxes, depriving our broke-ass state of much needed cash – to the tune of $1 billion a year. Ok. I’m in. Yes.

Prop. 40: Support Redistricting Decisions: Yes*

Ok, this is another one that I went with the consensus of groups I trust. Basically back in 2008 we created a non-partisan redistricting commission to redraw the State Senate districts & they did. Now some folks are annoyed with their choices and are trying to have the results, which seem generally fair, rescinded, costing us all time and expensive for dubious motives. Vote Yes to to uphold the redistricting that has been done.

SF:
Board of Supervisors
D1: Eric Mar

Eric Mar has been a solid progressive vote on the School Board for years and on the Board of Supervisors for one term. While I wish he would push for more and be more of a leader in addition to being a good vote most of the time, his bona-fides in my book are just that: great biking support, great enviro support & transit, and a good sane guy. His opponent is spending insane (& record breaking I’m told) amounts of downtown money, trying to remove the progressive block on the Board of Supervisors. Vote for Eric if you’re in D1.

D3: David Chiu
If you live in D3, you’ve been lucky to have David Chiu as your supervisor. David is a friend a really good environmental leader on the Board. He’s championed really good legislation (yellow pages opt-in) and has lead on a lot of important fights. Many have criticized the fact that he sometimes compromises too quickly and tries to hard to please rather than lead, and while those are valid criticisms, he is a really good supe and I expect even more from him in his next term.

D5: 1. John Rizzo 2. Christina Olague

If you haven’t been following it, the D5 races has turned into quite the political/scandal drama. You can read all about it in the Guardian or the SF Weekly, but the important thing is that there are 3 major candidates with real progressive credentials running for one Supervisor seat at the center of progressive politics in SF. And all 3 of them have real knocks against them. The easiest to dismiss, now, is Julian Davis. I hate to say this because he’s a friend, but he’s the center of the scandal and has shown truly horrible judgment that demonstrates he isn’t the right kind of person to be Supervisor. John Rizzo is also a friend and is an environmentalists’ environmentalist, but is a long shot for winning and has been tough to work with in the past. He seems to have learned a lot about playing well with others from serving on the Community College Board, so he’s my first choice pick for supervisor. Christina Olague is the current incumbent and was appointed by Mayor Lee. There is a LOT to like about Christina – she’s smart, fiery, and independent but she’s also a bit disorganized (which makes me question her ability to get things done) and I don’t trust some of her alliances (Willie Brown?). The fact is, she is likely to win & so I hope she proves me wrong in her next term & becomes the superstar legislator she is capable of being.

D7: Norman Yee

D7 is one of the districts in San Francisco where progressive values go to die (environmentalism, populism v. corporatism, tenants rights, neighborhoods vs. downtown). Previous Supervisor Sean Elsbernd was no different, almost always voting against things I held dear – but we now have a chance to elect someone who is likely to be much better, judging from his history at the School Board. Norman Yee is the only candidate in that race who I think is worth endorsing.

D9: David Campos

David, in addition to being a really great supervisor is unopposed (ok I think there is a write in candidate now) – but vote for him. I know I will.

D11: John Avalos

John is a really great supervisor and running unopposed. I’d vote for him in a heartbeat if I lived in D11.

Community College Board

The accreditation train-wreck that is Community College threatens this really really important SF institution. Rafael Mandelman is a friend and exactly the kind of thoughtful, smart leader we need to turn this around. Chris Jackson, Steven Ngo and Amy Bacharach are consensus picks of people I trust.

Amy Bacharach
Chris Jackson
Rafael Mandelman
Steven Ngo

Board of Education

The Board of Education has made great strides over the last several years to really turn things around at the San Francisco Unified School District. For that reason alone, I’m endorsing the 3 incumbents Fewer, Wynns, and Norton. Additionally, I am endorsing Matt Haney – he’s a political up-and-comer who is somewhat unproven but smart and dedicated.

Sandra Fewer
Matt Haney
Rachel Norton
Jill Wynns

Prop. A: City College Parcel Tax: YES

City College is struggling mightily because it’s underfunded (and poorly run) – so more money would be a huge help. Adding a small $80 parcel tax to each house in the City seems more than fair.

Prop. B: Parks Bond: Yes

Of all the local issues on the ballot, this one is the one I have spent the most time discussing and debating with other folks. In the end it comes down to a simple two questions for me: Do our parks and recreational facilities need more money? Were the funds from the last such Parks bond well spent? The answer to both of those questions is “yes.” Opponents raise the incredibly valid point that the current Recreation & Parks management is misguided at best, and corrupt at worst – but honestly I think that is a separate issue, because this same management has done well by the previous parks bond.

Prop. C: Affordable Housing Trust Fund: YES

This measure is good progressive public policy masquerading as…. good progressive public policy. Since the State government abolished the Redevelopment Agency, State funds that would have been set aside for affordable housing are now being sent to San Francisco’s General Fund. This measure would allocate these funds from the General Fund for their original intended purpose – building affordable housing in San Francisco, with improvements to the laws regarding how such housing is built to boot. YES. Definitely.

Prop. D: Consolidate Off-Year Elections: Yes

Fairly simple streamlining: two city offices are run in off-year elections when nothing else is up – which is inefficient. This just fixes the charter to bunch them in with other elections, saving $. Do it.

Prop. E: Gross Receipts Tax: Yes

SF used to have a system by which businesses were taxed on their gross receipts or on their payroll, depending on which was higher. This system has been changed through threat of lawsuit from big business and various legislative actions, and we now have a payroll only tax. This measure would phase out the payroll tax & reinstate the the gross receipts tax in a way that should raise about the same amount of money. The argument goes that by taxing payroll, we are providing a disincentive to hiring more workers, and thus a gross-receipts tax is a better way to stimulate job creation. Ok. Yes.*

Prop. F: Hetch Hetchy and Water Study: YES

This is a fascinating measure, and another one I’ve spent a lot of time discussing and debating. In the end it does 2 things: has the City spend $8 million into looking at how we *could* replace the Hetch Hetchy dam and still meet our water and power needs. It is not by any stretch a plan to do that, but just a study. So why spend $8 million to do so? Well, because regardless of how we feel about draining Hetch Hetchy (there are great pro and con reasons) – studying alternatives is REALLY useful, especially since San Francisco does an embarrassingly bad job at water recycling (FAR worse than LA & San Diego) because we just rely on Hetch Hetchy. This study would help us start figuring out how to manage our water resources more wisely, regardless of any question about Hetch Hetchy. We could really use such a study and $8 million is not an outlandish amount for such an effort. YES.

Prop. G: Corporations Are Not People: YES

This is a policy statement that has no effect other than a declaration by San Francisco corporations should not have the same constitutional rights as human beings and should be subject to political spending limits. After the debacle of the Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission ruling at the Supreme Court, the US has enshrined the notion that corporations are people and have protected rights for free speech even though they can often outspend actual humans on a vast scale. The danger this presents to our democracy is vast. Though this measure doesn’t accomplish much by way of legislation, it is what we can do, and hopefully can be part of building a movement to change this dangerous idea.

MY VALUES:

I’m basically an idealist, an optimist, and a humanist.
My opinions come from my experience in local politics over the past 17 years & the tons of candidate interviews I’ve done as President of the San Francisco League of Conservation Voters (SFLCV) & on the Board of Directors of the SF Bicycle Coalition (SFBC) & all the lobbying I’ve done at City Hall, etc etc…
I don’t get a dime for this, I’m a software engineer by day and a political activist in my spare time.
The 3 biggest “norths” of my political compass are environmentalism, social justice issues & good government (reform type) issues.
While my views are definitely shaped by my activities in the SFLCV & the SFBC, my endorsements do NOT represent the views of either of those organizations.
I use the term “progressive” a lot as something I value. In SF, that has historically meant a combination of classical liberal Democratic politics (equity (social, gender, racial), diversity, a sense that government can & should play an important role in solving society’s problems) plus environmental values (sustainability, long-term systematic thinking ) and neighborhood level populism (tenants rights, ethnic and socio-economic diversity, populism vs. corporatism.)
In some of these races it is a matter of picking between flawed options…
Ballot measures are REALLY a bad way to govern. Most of the things done in ballot measures SHOULD be done in the normal legislature, where they are easier to fix if they turn out wrong. Another problem is that you have to boil complex issues down to yes/no votes – which rarely is a good idea. But this is what we have, so keep in mind that some good ideas make bad ballot propositions & a lot bad ideas can be made to be sound like good sense in ballot initiative form because the devil is often in the details. And also note that these measures are often grey – there is often a lot of balancing going on…
90% of my experience & knowledge is about local issues – so understand that state issues are a little greyer for me unless I say otherwise. Thus, some of the endorsements (as marked) above are taken from compiling what the California League of Conservation Voters (CLCV), the SF Bay Guardian, and the Sierra Club have had to say.
Just like you, some of my opinions come from listening to those I trust, or tend to trust, organizations like the ones listed above get more credence as well as politicians I support and believe in. Obviously this is dicey, nothing beats first hand knowledge and analysis, but that just gets us back to why I think ballot measures suck…

10 Years At Apple

deep — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 19:41:33 +0000

On May 2nd, 2002 I took a leap & started working at Apple. Today I got my 10 year crystal award. Pictures don’t do it justice – I love it:

And this letter from Tim Cook pretty much nails it:

This award celebrates 10 years of your amazing contributions to Apple. Through your hard work, passion, and commitment, you have helped to show the world that technology can do more than engage and expand people’s minds. It can also touch their hearts and reach their souls. It can be both human and humane. In doing so, not only have you helped to alter what people have come to expect from the devices in their lives, but you have also changed what people expect from themselves. You have helped them create, relate to, and enjoy the world around them in a fundamentally different – better -way. Thank you for making this kind of difference. It is a great accomplishment in 10 years.

Tim Cook, CEO

Proud? Yes I am.

(click more for a few additional pics)

Why Adopt Baozi?

deep — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 08:56:15 +0000

[Ed. Note: A few days ago, Kate Antoniades contacted me because she runs a blog, "From Alone to Home: Stories of Adopted Pets" (www.fromalonetohome.com), which collects pet adoption stories as her way to encourage other people to choose shelter/rescue adoption. She asked me to write up Baozi's adoption story & it turned into a nice little piece on why we decided to get a pup from my point of view! Here it is.]

[Ed. Note: Also check the previous post to listen to her awesome puppy yawns & see pix and video ]

Baozi Snoozes

Pet’s Name: Baozi (包子)

Adopted by: Amandeep & Kimberly

From: SPCA, San Francisco, Calif.

Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve wanted a dog¹. Growing up, my Mom never allowed us to get one because she feared she’d be left to take care of it. In hindsight, I can understand, as my brother and I were plenty of work as it was².

My entire childhood was thus spent longing for a dog & getting all the B-list pets I could get my Mom to sign off on. A menagerie of parakeets, fish, hermit crabs, snakes, lizards, toads and jumping spiders paraded through our home, but none filled the void. (Many of these hapless creatures were captured from the woods near my house.)

As soon as I moved out on my own, I thought about getting a dog, but with adulthood came a dawning realization of how much work that would entail. I knew I wasn’t quite ready. But still the idea persisted. Every friend’s dog that I baby-sat tested my resolve. Every girlfriend I had was measured up as a potential puppy-mamma. Every “sidewalk-adopt-a-pet” event I passed on the street was a crisis.

Eventually, I realized that having a dog was doable, but given the unusually active life I lead, it would be hard to get a puppy and give it the time it needed. I began strategizing. Perhaps an older dog would be the best choice for me given my lifestyle and my various time commitments? Maybe I could pay for a dog-walking service? Eventually, I decided that I should wait until I lived with a girlfriend to truly give this a go, just to have somebody to split the responsibility with.

Early on in my relationship with Kimberly, my current girlfriend, we discussed our mutual love for dogs, and agreed that if we were to ever get a dog, it would be from the pound or from one of the many rescues we know of. There are simply so many dogs that need good homes and so many health issues with purebreds, that we knew we wanted to get a mutt. In this vein, I also tried to convince her that we should get an older dog, since they might have a harder time getting adopted. She was sympathetic, but was dead set on the “puppy experience.”

As our relationship deepened, we kept coming back to the dog idea, but mostly to tease the other person by playing puppy brinksmanship: One of us would dare the other to go with them to the SPCA that very day, implying that the other person was the sole impediment to doggy-happiness. The other person would inevitably be stuck, reluctantly having to play the role of “responsible adult,” since they were the only defense against making a change we actually weren’t ready for.

Finally, earlier this year, we decided to get married(!) & in talking about eventually having kids, the subject of a dog came up as well. Kimberly signed us up for “Puppy Owner Orientation” at the SPCA & a few weeks back, we went. The class was thoughtful and informative and we left sobered at the sense of how much of a change a puppy would be, and how much responsibility & complication it would add to our lives. We really treasure the way our lives work now & wondered if we should gamble with our happiness. We talked about it and let the idea sit on the back burner.

Then three weeks ago, Kimberly got one of the periodical “new dogs” emails from the SPCA & saw a series of little german shepherd mix puppies that were adorable. She forwarded me the email with many exclamation points. I took one look at the puppy pictures and knew we were at the precipice. That night, I spent a lot of time thinking about my life and the directions things were heading and wether I was truly ready to be the parent of a puppy. I realized that I could be, but that it would entail a lot of change. I also realized that I had a great partner to take this step with and if I didn’t do it soon, how could I possibly be prepared to have kids in the near future either. In the end, I realized that now was the time.

The next day, we went to the SPCA & played with one of the little puppies from the litter we liked so much, and visited with its mom (who was also at the pound)³. We quickly fell for the little dog we were playing with: she seemed playful, sweet, inquisitive, and mild-tempered. We talked about adopting for a few minutes and decided to do it. We reserved the little pup so we could go home and prepare. The next day, while I was away at an event, Kimberly formally adopted her & brought her home.

–

We’ve had our little girl for 2 and a half weeks now, and it has been fantastic. I took the first two weeks off from work to get her acclimated & that was a life saver. The first few days were quite the adjustment & I learned a lot about myself and my cute little dog. Kimberly and I have been a great team and have learned a lot about how to work with each other, and what each of us wants out of a dog. The dog is a joy and worth every second of it, even when she is being frustrating (not wanting to pee/poop because it is raining!). We named her “Baozi”, pronounced “Bow-dse”, which means “little stuffed bun” in Mandarin. She’s sweet and fun, and is learning the ropes fast. She’s getting really good with house training (very few accidents!) and we’re very happy with crate training. This week, I’m back at work and so we’re adjusting her to being at home in her crate for long stretches. I’ve set up a little webcam to watch her while we’re at work to see how it is going and, so far so good!

Everyday, we each rush home to play with little Baozi & compare notes on how she’s doing. She’s so much fun to have around and is so adorable we can barely stand it. She doesn’t have all her shots yet, so her time outside is carefully limited and monitored. We (and she!) can’t wait to get her out into the world for walks and meeting other dogs. We are just starting full-on training & commands and are looking forward to that as well.

We are at the beginning of this adventure, but are just so happy we made the leap. It is certainly true that our lives are already different, but none of it has been bad so far. We are already figuring out how to fit our schedule with hers, and hers with ours. We are learning a new life as we go and it’s great. A dream come true? Why yes, yes it is.

‘deep

^1. I think it is was because I’ve always loved animals, and mammals in particular can really connect with you. And nothing says connection more than a dog!↩

^2. Ironically, many years later, long after I left the house, my Mom ended up taking care of my brother’s dog for a while, fell in love with it & adopted it in the end.↩

^3. There were 4 sisters in the litter and they were already popular: one was adopted as we walked in the door & the other 2 were adopted soon after we adopted ours. The mom was adopted as well!↩

Baozi at Mission Pet Hospital for a Checkup

Deep & Baozi

Puppy Yawns (for your Listening Pleasure!)

deep — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 10:33:49 +0000

Not all posts here at Deeptrouble.com involve issues of magnitude and commentary most insightful.

Some involve…. (drum roll)…

PUPPY YAWNS!

(click here to hear the goodness)

The last one is the best actually

I’ve always wanted a puppy & last weekend Kimberly and I adopted little Baozi* from the SPCA here in San Francisco. She is as adorable as you might imagine. These yawns are compiled from two of the early morning (2:45am and 5:15am to be exact!) “take her out to pee!” runs (iPhone Voice Memo app FTW!)

*It means “stuffed bun” in Mandarin & is pronounced “Bow-dzuh”! She’s a German shepard mix…

Trikeasaurus Rex RFP (and a Brief History of Trikeasuarus!)

deep — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 05:11:46 +0000

[Ed. Note for friends: I have decided to have a new custom trike built: Trikeasaurus Rex! To do so, I need to explain what Trikeasurus is, so I made this video & blog post as an RFP (Request For Proposal). It is a simple history & set of requirements - but by all means DO CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO I MADE BELOW:]

[Ed. Note for potential suppliers: I'm just using the term "RFP" because I have delusions of grandeur - don't worry, I don't necessarily need a formal "proposal". This is really just a framework for discussion.]

History

For almost 5 years now, I have been enjoying Trikeasaurus, my roving tricycle-sound-system.

Trikeasaurus was initially conceived as a simple way to transport my sound system to my FlashDance events. Flashdances are free, outdoor dance parties I put on in various locations in San Francisco every month or so during the spring & summer.¹

As it has turned out, Trikeasaurus has become a much more general purpose source of fun and I use it often, not just for FlashDances. Watch this video to get a sense:

Trikeasaurus in its Natural Habitat

The video shows Trikeasaurus mostly in its initial configuration, a cheap, Husky adult tricycle with a small, custom metal-work speaker mount system.

Two heavy Yamaha Stagepas 500 speakers were mounted on metal tubes that were attached as a U-shape to the bed of the bike. This Trikeasaurus configuration had several critical problems:

Eventually the metal speaker mount tubes cracked.
The wear and tear I was putting on the cheap tricycle caused the frame to crack.
The sharp edges of the speaker mount tubes damaged the speaker housings.

To solve these problems I purchased a heavy duty industrial tricycle from Worksman & began using it. Its bed was large enough that I didn’t need a speaker mount. That version of Trikesaurus is pictured here:

(click for more pics)

Unfortunately, the Worksman tricycle was just too heavy. Though it did, in fact, feel very solid, it rode really slow and was a pain to ride all around town. It felt like the slowness had more to do with internal resistance than weight.

Eventually, I had a much lighter sound system made (using a digital amp that required no inverter & took less power), and improvised a PVC based speaker mount (that I planned to replace with custom metal work) and returned to my original lightweight tricycle (after having the cracks in its frame repaired.)

(click for more pics) Here is the new PVC mount system I made.

I was using this until recently when the frame cracked again (in a new location) and the PVC mounts failed:

(click for more pics)

Thus, I need a new tricycle and have decided to seriously investigate having one custom made once and for all. The simplest & cheapest option would be to remake my PVC mount & try again with a similar tricycle, but it I’d prefer a better solution that would last & look great.

Requirements

I’m interested in either a custom built trike from scratch or a modified (strengthened!) version of an off-the-shelf trike. I’m willing to pay for quality, durability and aesthetics. Ideally, the builder would be as excited about this project as I am.

MUST HAVES:

Heavy duty & designed to take a beating. Fundamentally, I want something that is really reliable & doesn’t require a lot of maintenance.
Rides nicely. This is where the Worksman fell down, it was just slow and heavy feeling & it felt like there was resistance other than the weight.
Light as possible, given requirements 1 & 2. This isn’t as important as the first two, as long as 2 is true, but nonetheless, light is good.
3 Speed at least.
Speaker mounts/bays: I have at least one idea for how to mount the speakers (see the PVC mount pictures) but am game for something better:
- I need easy mounting/dismounting of at least one speaker, for stereo separation & coverage at dance parties. Preferably both.
- I already have a sound system I am using which I can provide dimensions for, but I’m also open to other sound system recommendations & am also exploring other sound system options. Currently the sound system I use is approximately 500W. Here is more info on how it was made.
Parking brake, for temporarily leaving the bike unattended.
Fits inside 24th Street BART elevator. Basically this means I could get it in a box 72″ wide by 58″ deep (so the diagonal length is about 84″.) The BART elevator entrance is 42″ wide. My original trike fit, albeit snuggly and only on the diagonal with the front wheel turned in. The Worksman version did not. Let’s say 53 inches tall.
Sparkle metallic paint job: I’m a big fan of the metal flake glitter paint often seen on cars. Here are some examples.

NICE TO HAVES:

Standing pad: see the picture above where my girlfriend is sitting on top of the speakers. That is overkill but if there was just a small pad she could stand on maybe the size of a small doormat and hold on, that would be great. (think chariot)
Push points: Often on Critical Mass & Bike Party, other bicyclists help push me up hills. On some of my tricycles this is easier than others. My Indian rickshaw has small horizontal posts sticking out the back sides that makes this easy. Something like that could be very helpful. Pictured here.
Builtin LED lights for entertainment & visibility
Removability of sound components to make a useful cargo trike (note: this is much less important, because I’ll probably buy a cargo bike & I’d rather this trike look perfect, but it can’t hurt to ask…)
Unique styling (Indian rickshaw? Dinosaur? Discoball?) (see photos below for ideas). I have a small collection of classic Asian rickshaws (pictured in the photo set) & am of Indian descent.
Something that you are proud of and is a testament to YOUR creativity.

^1.This video is from my last FlashDance on Halloween. Note that since Trikeasaurus was broken (pix above) I used one of my rickshaws to transport the sound system.:↩

.ps
While I wait for Trikeasurus Rex to be built, I’ve been using Temporaryasaurus (rickshaw + speaker!):

(photo courtesy of Adrienne Johnson)

Rocket GLAM 43rd Birthday Party

deep — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 07:41:51 +0000

GLAAAAAAM IIIIN SPAAAAAAAAACE!

Glamsters! Thank you all SO MUCH for making my GLAM Party such a huge success. So many of you! So many rocket-packs! So many aliens! SO. MUCH. GLAM.

A few quick thoughts:

I LOVED SO MANY OF THE COSTUMES. SO GREAT! I think Liz won on overall Rocket Glammiest and Best Rocket Pack! (& bringing the hotness!)
I get an honorable mention, coz I LOVED my costume, and it did not turn out looking like a GLAM SPACE CHICKEN as I feared. If I wear it everyday going forward, someone please intervene. My best Glam Costume to date!!!
>
I also was SUUUUPER happy with the playlist (see below) I hope you were too!
So I’ll post a few random shots here, but for gods sake, at least check out the BEST 50 Photo Booth Shots here on Facebook
Here is the full set of photo booth shots on Flickr – honestly there are closer to 85-90 GREAT shots in there!
Sorry the photo booth was a bit balky (& the first chunk of shots were out of focus) – we just got it & it will be in better shape for the NEXT GLAM Birthday Big thanks to Adrian & Kimberly & all the volunteers who took pix!

Big thanks to Kimberly for all the hard work in making this happen (and putting up with the fact that we made it happen “my” way ) You rock babe! (And damn you’re hot!) And you make the best ridiculous facial expressions in the photo booth shots.

ROCKET GLAM!

‘Deep

.ps For those of you who still don’t understand, here is why (as I said after my 40th Birthday GLAM of the Dead party):

Q: Why GLAM? A: GLAM – because I love bright shiny things. When i turned 31 I decided to reclaim my love of all things shiny, sparkly & bright. Guys (at least straight ones) aren’t supposed to love that stuff as much as I do. Yeah. Whatever. It’s been all GLAM ever since

You can find pix from all my GLAM parties here.

.pps

And here is the playlist. Like I said, twas one of my best!

Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going to Be a Long Long Time) – Elton John
M.I.A.’s Lips Ain’t Sealed – DJ not-I
Good Morning Rhythm Hit – Ghetto Funk presents Bobby C Sound TV
Rang de Basanti – Chitra & Daler Mehndi
Take Me To The Casbah – Ghetto Funk presents Bobby C Sound TV
Lose My Breath – Destiny’s Child
I Got It from My Mama – will.i.am
Our Story: Enga Yeriya – Dhanush (Rap Prem Gi Amaren and Yuvan Shankar Raja)
Put Your Hands Up for Detroit (Radio Edit) – Fredde le Grand
Gifted (Steve Aoki Remix) [feat. Kanye West, Santigold & Lykke Li] – N.A.S.A.
Suffragette City (Illuminoids Remix) (David Bowie Vs. Illuminoids) – The Illuminoids
Harder, Harder, Harder, Harder! (Daft Punk Vs. Passions) – Electrosound
There’s a Party (Funkglorious Remix) [feat. George Clinton & Chali 2na] – N.A.S.A.
Billie Jean vs Last Night A DJ Saved My Life (Michael Jackson vs Indeep) – UPDATES SPIN
‘Mr Wendal’ (D-Funk Mix) – D-Funk vs Arrested Development
Black or free – Mighty Mike
Night By Night – Chromeo
Moves Like Jagger (Studio Recording from “The Voice” Performance) [feat. Christina Aguilera] – Maroon 5
Deewangi deewangi – Shahrukh Khan, Arjun Rampal, Deepika Padukone & Shreyas Talpade
Dil Le Gayee – Jassi
Do The Thang Thang (Bhangra Remix) – Shakti Feat Bikram Singh
Yo Viviré – Celia Cruz
Soy Callejero (Mark Pistel Remix) – Los Mocosos
You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
Things I Do for You – The Jacksons
Born This Way – Lady Gaga
Bulletproof Dude (La Roux Vs. Loony Wise Men) – Sugamotor
Guns N’ Roses “Welcome To The Jungle” (Jells Mayhem’s Serpentine Edit) – Guns N’ Roses
I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do) – Hall & Oates
Hombre is in the groove (Deelite vs M.I.A.) – DJ Prince mashup
Day-O (Banana Boat Song) – RJD2
Ace of Base vs Pink vs Kim Carnes – Raise your sign – amoraboy
Walkin’ Out Yo Girlfriend (Unk Vs. Avril Lavigne Vs. Toni Basil) – Lobsterdust
Do You Wanna Cuz It’s Tricky (Franz Ferdinand Vs. Run-DMC Vs. The Knack) – Thriftshop XL
Do That There (The Young Einstein Hoo-Hoo Mix) – Lyrics Born
That Dude – The High Decibels
When I See You – Macy Gray
Remember The Time – Michael Jackson
Dance Wit’ Me – Rick James
CelePlanes (M.I.A. vs. Rare Earth) – dj lobsterdust
Bonkers – Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden
MMMTipsy (J-Kwon Vs. Hanson) – King Of Pants
Chain of Fools (Unedited Album Version) – Aretha Franklin
Mack The Knife (Digitally Remastered) – Bobby Darin
It’s Not Unusual (Single Version) – Tom Jones
Billo Rani – Anand Raaj Anand & Richa Sharma
Dhoom taana – Shahrukh Khan, Arjun Rampal, Deepika Padukone & Shreyas Talpade
Rock With You – Michael Jackson
Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe – Barry White
This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) – Talking Heads

The Proposal

deep — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 03:33:36 +0000

Ed. note: Numerous people have asked for “the story” of me proposing to K, so I thought I’d write it down. It feels a little odd to write a blog post about such a moment, but we here at deeptrouble.com are all about giving the people what they want. Also, this post allows me to explain why we have unexpected pictures of the proposal itself.

Updates 2/16/12:

The pier is actually Pier 7
For the story of how we met, go to www.kimandeep.com/prequel

I’ve been thinking about asking Kimberly to marry me for a while now & I told myself that if I felt like asking her 5 times or so, I should just do it. In the end, it ended up happening half by intent and half by serendipity, like many of the best things in our relationship.

Unexpected Proposal-Cam! (courtesy of Hannah Tries)

I originally thought to fly her somewhere romantic (Paris? the National Parks in Utah?), but didn’t want to add more to our carbon footprint after our big trip to China, so that was out. Then I thought maybe I’d drive her somewhere here in CA over the holiday (Yosemite? Big Basin? Muir Woods?), but we decided to not go anywhere for the vacation, because we both wanted downtime. By then I had already almost asked her twice.¹

As it became clearer that I was really going to do this, it dawned on me that I should ask her family first, so I managed to pull Dad, brother, and sister each aside during their family Christmas Day gathering, and call Mom while she was vacationing abroad. Thankfully, they were all excited (thanks Conleys & Haydens!) Once I had asked them, I knew there was no turning back (fire in the hole!) & that I’d be asking her soon. Besides, by that point I had already had a few more near-asks.¹

The week after Christmas was warm and gorgeous and Kimberly decided that we’d go on a long walk from the Mission to the Golden Gate Bridge (on Friday.) Given that, “Ask Her On The Bridge!” became The Plan of Record.

But then, Friday turned unexpectedly grey & foggy and we decided to go on a less scenic walk to a restaurant on the far west side of the City, and I decided to not ask her yet (though I almost did anyway.)¹

Frustrated, that night, I asked her if she wanted to go on a late night walk, and figured the view in Dolores Park would be perfect. But she said no.

The next good candidate seemed to be the next night, Saturday, on New Year’s Eve. I decided to ask her on our big New Year’s Eve bike party/ride. The only concern was that our roving street party is big, loud, and *VERY* public which is much more my speed than hers. Nonetheless, I thought I’d try to just pull her aside quietly right after midnight, in the middle of the rambunctionating. New Plan of Record + Slight Misgivings.

I woke up Saturday, realizing everything was set & all I needed to do was wait. The day was stunningly beautiful & we found ourselves at the Embarcadero Farmer’s Market after a nice walk and a lovely lunch with friends. As we were buying fruit, I suddenly realized that now was the time: the day couldn’t be more perfect, we were near one of my favorite spots (Pier 7)², and it would just be the two of us, which she might like better than the big party planned for later.

The only problem was that we were running late for a scheduled delivery at our house & any suggestion that we become even later might result in a remarkably inopportune argument (she’s really good at staying on schedule & is often frustrated that I’m not.)

Nonetheless, I asked her if we could walk to the pier since it was so beautiful & braced myself for the worst. Fortunately, she was game & so we headed over. As we made our way to the end, I noticed a couple sitting nearby chatting away happily and some folks fishing a little ways away, but it was private enough & lovely.

After talking for a few minutes, Kimberly turned away to look out over the water, so I stepped back & got down on one knee & waited for her to turn around. She didn’t for a little bit & so I continued to wait. I decided that the nearby couple might be wondering if anything was wrong, so I turned and flashed them a smile & a thumbs up.

After another few seconds, Kimberly turned half way around to see where I was & finding me down below her, looked at me quizzically. I motioned for her to turn around fully. “Kimberly Hayden Conley, will you marry me?” At least that is what I planned to say. She says I did. I was a good bit more nervous than I realized, so I don’t actually recall. I think she said “Of course I will.”

–

Amusingly enough, the nearby couple realized what was going on when I flashed them the thumbs up & took a few pictures for us during the moment How lucky (& kind) is that! Thanks Hannah!

courtesy of Hannah Tries
^1. Some of the Near Misses:

a bike ride through Golden Gate Park and the Dahlia Garden
cuddled up watching movies on a snuggly night at home
a beautiful sunset on Bernal Hill
a few really awkward moments (Eeek! Rings!) in jewelry stores while randomly window-shopping.
on our Friday walk through the Inner Sunset as we were geeking out about the Sunset Reservoir (we’d never seen it). (Luckily, good sense prevailed & I decided that the locale wasn’t “us” enough, even though it was awesome that I could geek out about urban infrastructure with a hot girl.)↩

^2.Google & Facebook say it is Pier 5, but my iPhone says it is Pier 3. I think Apple is wrong. [Also note that some of the pix on the linked Google page are of the wrong pier. Grr.] ↩ UPDATE (2/16/12) : IT IS ACTUALLY PIER 7. Way to be wrong Google, Facebook, and Apple!

deeptrouble

Our Unexpected Year with Baozi: Slow Leaks, Parenting Tests, & Deep Love

India 2012: Trust, Chai, & The Taj

WERE YOU REALLY LOOKING?:

MY 3 FAVORITE THINGS:

The Taj Mahal:

Mehrangarh Fort & Jodhpur:

Bombay:

CHAINS OF TRUST:

CHAI HO!:

INDO CHINA:

TECHNOTRAVELS:

Interwebs

iPhones and iPad

Facebook

Connectivity Hassles

BIKES:

HOW DID THE MISSUS LIKE IT?:

Halloween 2011 & 2012: Lord Ganesh & the Requirements of the ‘Deepian Halloween

The ‘Deep Slate: November 2012 Edition

THE LIST:

THE DETAILS:

MY VALUES:

10 Years At Apple

Why Adopt Baozi?

Puppy Yawns (for your Listening Pleasure!)

Trikeasaurus Rex RFP (and a Brief History of Trikeasuarus!)

History

Requirements

Rocket GLAM 43rd Birthday Party

The Proposal