Parkers Farm Makes Me Reconsider My Atheism: The Best Peanut Butter In The World

Note: Numerous updates to this post have been made – see bottom.

Many of you know that there is only one dangerous addiction in my life. I don’t drink, or smoke (bleagh!) or do any of the (frankly, more interesting) substances available. But there is one seriously controlled substance in my life: peanut butter. I luvs me some peanut butter.

I could go on and on explaining that love, but suffice to say there was a point when the young ‘Deep, circa 5 or 6 years old, decided to seek a better parenting opportunity1 by running away from home. To begin my new life on my own, I carefully chose the three things I’d take with me: a blanket, a spoon, and a jar of JIF Extra Crunchy: I have always been serious about my peanut butter. It is a conscious effort not to eat peanut butter every day of the week2.

So about a year & a half ago, I came across this blog post by someone who loves peanut butter even more than I do (shocking! & perhaps a bit scary, actually) & ever since I have been looking for this “Parkers Farm” Peanut Butter of which he speaks. It had been a long and fruitless search and I had all but forgotten, until one day on Facebook, one of my friends mentioned her favorite snack3 & happened to include the brand of the peanut butter involved! I realized that she knew where to find the legendary peanut butter! Woot!

After getting the scoop, I immediately went and bought some. And……. lo! I had been delivered from darkness! It is truly the best peanut butter I have ever had. Whether you like all natural or not, whether you like creamy or not, whether you like sweetened or not, it doesn’t matter. This is IT:

IMG_3573.jpg

Parkers Farm Peanut Butter
the U.S. Strategic Peanut Butter Reserve (a.k.a. my fridge)

  • in San Francisco, it can be found at Whole Foods South of Market. [UPDATE 11/23/09: I have been informed that it is also at Whole Foods in Noe Valley & Delessio’s Market near the PanHandle.] All Whole Foods don’t carry it, but here is a link to the Parkers Farm company & I think they have a link to some of the distributors.
  • It is kept in the refrigerated case (like where they keep cottage cheese and butter.)

If you like mainstream peanut butter (as I do), you’ll find the honeyed ones are where it is at! If you like natural peanut butter, I still think you’ll like the sweeter honeyed ones, but by all means go for the “Plain” if need be. I prefer the “Honey Crunchy”, but the “Plain” is also great & a significantly different excellent experience from the honeyed ones. The “Honey Creamy” is practically as good as the “Honey Crunchy.” There is a “Plain Crunchy”, but they don’t seem to carry it at my Whole Foods.

The second amazing thing about this peanut butter, after the taste, is that it’s ALL NATURAL – and the ingredients are ONLY: peanuts & salt or peanuts, honey & salt (in the honeyed case). WOW.

The third amazing thing is that unlike all other natural peanut butters I’ve tried, the oil doesn’t seem to ever separate! They have some process miracle going on in there. Fascinating. My mind keeps returning to this question – how do they do it?!!!

So, get to it people! You won’t be disappointed! And if you are ever at my house, feel free to ask for a taste spoon. And thus I shall spread The Gospel!

‘deep

1. Since my Mom will no doubt read this, let me state for the record that I was getting fine parenting of course.↩

2. Unfortunately, the latest pictures of me suggest that I have been… 🙁 BUT I HAVEN’T – which of course, begs the question “What is the point of gaining weight if you aren’t doing it by getting to eat peanut butter 24/7?” – clearly my life (& my waistline) is amiss! I need to fix that – but the good news is that means more PF Peanut Butter for all of you 🙂 Use it well! ↩

3. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SHANTHALA!!! And big thanks to my favorite blog Daring Fireball, & ESPECIALLY Davenetics for bringing me to the light.

.ps It is amusing to me that both of my food reviews have taken on biblical tones, and probably heretical ones at that. I’m clearly gonna burn in hell. 🙂↩

 

 

Update 4/19/11 – OPERATION CHICAGO GRAB:

As of 2010 sometime, there are no longer any supermarkets in SF that carry this PB 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 You can bulk order it from MN but it comes with a LOT of packaging and CO2 emissions 🙁 🙁 🙁

We were visiting Chicago this past week & on a hunch I checked a few Whole Foods – sure enough on carried Parkers Farms PB!!! I grabbed 6 tubs (only 1 was honey) & blithely headed to the airport. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to check our bags & I naively hoped I could get it through in my carry on (it was sealed PB!).

Needless to say Operation Chicago Grab was a tragic failure. 6 Tubs! Lost! At least I got the TSA agent to take the PB home with him, rather than just tossing it!

Update 10/12/12 – OPERATION KIMBY GRAB:

Earlier this year, I finally got a hold of someone at the company. They are no longer bulk-shipping and thus the only places you can get this stuff is in the Midwest. 🙁 :-(. At least I don’t have the carbon temptation anymore 🙂

Luckily Kimberly was headed to Minnesota to visit friends. PARKERS FARMS IS IN MINNESOTA!!!!

Operation Kimby Grab was a big success:

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2012’s OPERATION KIMBY GRAB: Success – 6 tubs!

Update 9/11/13 – OPERATION FLYING PEANUT BUTTER:

I had a business trip to North Carolina & realized that my return flight connected through Chicago. BWA HA HA!

With a little work online, I extended my layover from 1 hour to 4 hours! With much legwork online & much shenanigans in Chicago (setbacks, resilience, excellent use of public transit (CTA subway FTW!) to avoid rush hour) I bought 22 tubs from a downtown Whole Foods, taped it all up in a box & rushed back to the airport. Peanut Butter checked as baggage! 

Upon arrival in SF, 4 of the tubs were cracked & there was some spillage, but most were completely intact & nonetheless, there wasn’t a lot wasted. Overall HUGE SUCCESS!

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2013’s OPERATION FLYING PEANUT BUTTER: HUGE Success – 22 tubs!

Update 9/14/14 – OPERATION CHICAGO BUTTER: TRAGIC FAILURE

Since it was my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, I had trip to North Carolina & so I booked my tickets carefully so that I had a long (4 hour!) layover in Chciago on the way home, just like last year’s Operation Flying Peanut Butter.

I figured this would be a cake-walk since I had figured out all the logistics last year & written down careful notes.

I packed a cooler on my might out and lugged it everywhere on my trip, knowing that as annoying as it was, it would pay off in spades on the return leg.

Things started going wrong immediately upon arriving at the airport for the flight back via Chicago: They wouldn’t let me get the cooler during the layover. They would *only* check it all the way through to SFO. DAMN, I had lugged it around for nothing. FINE. I would not be denied. I would get a box at the grocery store like last time, tape it up & check it.

Upon arriving in Chicago, the woman at the gate asked me she could switch me to the direct flight leaving right then. I said, “No! I have important things to do during the layover.” 🙂

Seconds later, however, I was dealt a death blow: I called the Whole Foods I went to last year, and they did not carry Parkers Farm peanut butter. WTF? I immediately called all the other Whole Foods I could & none of them did. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This must have been because of the recall. DAMN YOU LISTERIA.

Devastated, I realized I could at least take an earlier flight (leaving soon after I arrived in Chicago) & avoid sitting around in Ohare airport for the extra hours. I hustled over to the gate & they informed me that I couldn’t jump on that flight since I had to stay with my baggage – the cooler! until it flew out later that night! DAMN YOU COOLER.

So I waited and waited for my flight & then finally made it on & home to SFO. Once at SFO I waited for an hour for my cooler to pop out of the baggage claim. IT DID NOT. I went to the baggage claim desk, where they calmly explained to me that it made it here on the earlier flight. MEANING I DIDN’T NEED TO WAIT IN CHICAGO AFTER ALL.

5 TIMES THE HASSLE. O TIMES THE PEANUT BUTTER. OPERATION CHICAGO BUTTER: TRAGIC FAILURE

Notes for Future Smuggling Operations:

If anyone is flying through Chicago, Minneapolis, or anywhere in the Mid-west & has time to grab some peanut butter for me on the day of their flight, please let me know!  I’ll do the legwork of finding it, all you’ll need to do is be the Peanut Butter Mule!

Notes for Peanut Butter Mules:

  • The PB has to be checked baggage (see the tragedy of Operation Chicago Grab above)
  • Unless you can refrigerate it, it’s important to buy it on the day of your flight to SF.
  • I will repay you with dinner anywhere in SF & of course reimburse you the cost & baggage charge & whatever else.

Notes for ‘Deep:

  • Make calls BEFORE booking tickets.
  • Call all the Whole Foods nearby. Ask for the “Grocery” dept. 
  • Ask if they carry it & specifically if they have honeyed & how many. (Many carry it, but some only carry plain varieties and some have both honeyed and plain.)
  • Note that we have confirmed that the Canal St & Halsted Street locations had both. I went to Canal St (a short walk from Clinton CTA station)

23 thoughts on “Parkers Farm Makes Me Reconsider My Atheism: The Best Peanut Butter In The World

  1. You can also find this at Andronicos on Fulton and Irving…saw it the other day and thought of you…

  2. wow.

    did i count 6 tubs in your fridge? ‘deep, you’re for reals. i’m one of those people who can take peanut butter or leave it, but i am totally going to try this stuff!

    i’m thinking it may not separate because its kept in the fridge and all of the fats stay sort of solid. it may change texture if its left out. i’m sure you would never let that happen, oh great protector of nut butter.

    also, i’m curious how you use it. straight out of the jar, on bread, like a condiment on everything…share some recipes, y’all!

    :),

    chandra

  3. Is it still spreadable even if it’s been refrigerated? (says Brian, clutching his tub of Jif protectively)

  4. As someone who takes her peanut butter seriously and who has a guilty pleasure for Skippy super chunk but now only buys natural peanut butter because it’s the ‘good mom’ thing to do, I am very intrigued to try Parkers. Thanks for passing this along – I can’t wait! Hmm, I might even buy a bagel for the special occasion..

  5. Yes…it’s the fridge that keeps it from separating. Same can be done with other natural PBs as well.

  6. but do you REALLY love blog comments…

    thanks for being my favorite model extrovert and your general enthusiasms…

    ….

  7. OK, now I absolutely must go buy some… luckily that Whole Foods is only a block away.

    Thank GOD we’re not allergic to peanuts, eh? 🙂

    Thanks for the tip, Deep!

  8. I am so happy you finally tasted “the” peanut butter. This is by far the best peanut butter and no other can replace this one. I tried Jif on a camping trip recently. God No! My taste buds seem to reject anything else and I like that. 🙂

  9. I’m from Chicago, but live in Los Angeles. They don’t seem to sell Parkers Peanut Butter in LA, so each time I go home, I have to buy 4 tubs to bring to CA.
    AND I LIVE DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM A WHOLE FOODS IN SHERMAN OAKS, CA. Very frustrating. It’s the best PB I’ve ever tasted…

  10. I see some time has passed, but was wondering if Parker’s Farm is still in business? I’m sure their peanut butter is great. However I’m after their salsa, which I used to be able to get. They seem to have disappeared from the internet right after the recall.

  11. Here it is August 2018 and I am still mourning the passing of Parker’s Farm Peanut Butter. I have not found anything as good ever since it became unavailable. Did they start another company with a different name that I have not heard about? I was NEVER a peanut butter fan until I first tried Parker’s Farm at Costco. They went from a single tub to two larger tubs and I was real happy for some time. Then it was gone. I waited for quite a long time for it to reappear until I finally called the Parker’s Farm company. They told me that Costco ( my absolute favorite store to this day) wanted to package under the Kirkland brand. Now, I don’t know any of the details, however, I do know it is very risky and expensive for a company to gear up to produce exclusively for one company. There is no room to negotiate if , after the initial contract , they want the product cheaper. So, according to the person I spoke with at Parker’s Farm, they chose not to do the deal. I continued buying Parker’s Farm Peanut Butter from Whole Foods until Parker’s Farm became unavailable because of Listeria. To this day I wonder how a successful company such as Parker’s Farm could have been negligent to that degree. ???

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